Time to move on with my life

A lot has been happening as of late. One thing to mention is that Stefan and I are getting married next weekend. Afterward I will finish what I am doing (as will he) and then we will have a formal wedding in Monterey, California next spring.

http://www.monterey.org/

He and I have been best friends for a very long time, and have decided to become one even more so. It is the best thing to do--he is the one who really loves me inside and out, and he has done everything in his power to mend my heart, hold my hand and give me faith once more. :)



"I dedicate the song by the Eagles, "No More Cloudy Days" to you. For I have been out here lost and searchin' lookin' for a girl like you. I believe in you. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Put your hand in mine. I would never make you cry, I would never make you blue, I would never let you down, I would never be untrue. No more stormy nights, no more cloudy days.

You are so beautiful in my eyes. Cher, I love you more at this moment than I did 1 hour ago. You are so incredible and I am so happy you are part of my life and I have this opportunity to love you as I do in this present existence. I am so looking forward to our future together.

Cher, I love you so much.

Yours always,

Stefan "


Stefan is a good person, stable, and he is kind. He is a publisher, director, producer, and promoter (as well as the owner of a magazine and other things) in San Francisco, Los Angeles and Hollywood. The most important thing? Well, he has stood up, told me his feelings without fear, and has been the one consistent, non-elusive man in my life. He does not play games or act childish and confused. He is true to his heart, and that means a lot to me right now. He is love.

"Good Morning Baby!

I so loved spending the evening with you last night. It is so refreshing to know that someone loves you the way you love me. My desire is to be with you always.

We certainly covered a great deal of plans for our future last night. I truly hope this is what you want more than anything. Certainly we are making a big step and I feel it is in the right direction, I guess it is safe to say, "Why put off the inevitable?" I spoke to my sister regarding our decision and asked her what she thought, she says, "Do it!, I like Cher, and you know lil' Bryan would be happy too."

I promise to do everything it takes to make you happy and to know you are loved beyond measure. I will hold your hand and know you will hold mine. You are so beautiful and I love you for you.

Always my love,

Stefan"

Something nice to think about:

Stefan has a nephew who is 10. He told me I was his favorite and said he prays each night that I will become his "Aunt Cher". What a sweet boy, yes?

Anyway, I have to go to work right now, but will add more on this later. Looks like it is going to rain today,... I hope so, because I love the rain so much.

Me xo

Denise

Been thinking of my sister's death lately. Seems so many close to me go away. It is indeed, a pity.

I remember when I was 13 years old, I was very ill with tonsillitis. It was summer and we were the only two home at the moment. She drove me to the emergency room and held my hand the entire time. She then picked up my prescriptions as I cried in pain, and took me home. She cared for me until my mum arrived from work. She was such a good sister to me,... the brat.

... even though my mum always says that I am a very good girl, I know she was the angel.

I miss and love her.

Anyway, I did not go on vacation today due to a family emergency. It is ok though; I will go at some other moment.

Hugs,
Me

Family Things

Originally from Genova, Italy, married a native of Spain, and moved to California.












My Grandfather:

Questionnaire

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
None at the moment.

YOUR BEST QUALITY?
Gentleness

WORST?
Too trusting

FAVOURITE THING IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Honesty, intelligence, and laughter

FAVOURITE SONG RIGHT NOW?
No one on earth - Above & Beyond

FAVOURITE SMELL?
Hugo woman, Jlo Glow or coconut/lime from Bath & Body Works

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Abandonment

FIRST THING YOU DO IN THE MORNING?
... make coffee. And as it brews, I brush my teeth.

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
2

EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Yes

WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE?
Inner peace

FAVOURITE FOOD!
Salad or seafood salad

IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I do play instruments :)

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
I go 80 on the freeway, but slow elsewhere

SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Umm,... no.

WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Firebird

TYPE NOW?
Audi A6

WHO IS THE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
My sister

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Baily's

WHAT'S IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR?
I do not know what that is :o

DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Yes

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I would want to be a vacationist ;)

GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
Full

FAVOURITE MOVIE?
Amelie, Chocolat, Labyrinth

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
Yes

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Dust

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST AMBITION?
To be the best person I can be to others

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS?
Fear

IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Beside the sea

BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY?
Beach

TECHNOLOGY OR ART?
Art - photography

FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Neck

FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY?
Sunset

WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY?
Mind

WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY?
Not sure

WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
Neither

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON?
Autumn

IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT
BE? To bring Peace to the world

CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Umm,... never tried it

WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
Sushi

IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD
WHERE WOULD IT BE?
...

WHAT ARE YOU EATING?
Nothing at the moment

MOST IMPORTANT THING IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Trust

LAST QUESTION: WHAT DO OTHERS NOTICE ABOUT YOU?
... not sure. Perhaps that I am gentle

The path leads somewhere peaceful

I am looking forward to this vacation in Wildwood, New Jersey in a few days (... I mentioned it in a past post). I need some time to find myself again, and those few days on the white sand seem so inviting.



In other news today, I bought a new chair, had the oil changed in my car, made homemade chili, am buying the Sirius Starmate Replay for my car (thanks to a sweet friend's advice), and am going to go hang out with the girls later. The day should be a good one indeed.

Random thought: I miss my friend Martin. He always seems to be able to give me good talks. (He is one of my best friends.)

Hugs,
Me

Abbracciami

I am unable to sleep tonight. I have no idea what is wrong with me.



Well, a family member was murdered a few days ago, and I am exhausted and trying to be strong for my mum. Sadly, I was so busy today, I did not call her. That hurts my heart. I have not told too many people about it. I have not cried.

I have not cried about very much as of late, but a few things to my friend Kenny on and off. I miss him, but he has been busy with things in his life lately, to come visit my flat. I never told him about the murder because of him being busy. He will be going to St. Thomas, Virgin Islands for a week on Wednesday morning. Wish I were going. :) A hug to him, and to all of you.

I miss a million people in my life right now. We all just get so busy, yea? That is the way it goes. See-saw is always consistent and warm. I am grateful.

I cannot say what moves me. I cannot say what upsets me. I can say, I am not sad at the moment, just blank. Not sure that makes any sense. But I will break loose, be sure.

I am so tired of people that lie. Men that lie. I want to erase their faces.
... "my history is for sale." Sorry to say all this, I just need to get some of it out. I just need my Stefan. Sigh.


Good night

P.s. Two of my photographs were published in a San Francisco newspaper this week. I am honored that they chose my work.

And, I am going on vacation to Wildwood N.J. soon,... a few friends and I have rented a condo there for 2 weeks. My friend Lynette (a therapist and art major) and I will arrive shortly after everyone else, due to work responsibilities.

I look forward to days beside the beach, relaxing on the white sand, and looking out at the sea. ... time for inner Peace, and find myself again.

Rolling with the changes

(... my ex-bathroom, haha)... I just like the mood, it suits mine today.

Sorry I have not updated, I have been very busy. Also, I am dealing with a very bad sunburn. I am just now feeling better. 70% of my body was/is bright pink and hurts. But it has been since Thursday, so it is easing up a bit now. :)

And some were asking about my Skype? Well, I unplugged it as to plug in something else for a few minutes. I just need to plug it in once more. I will do that. Hugs.

In other news,... not sure what I am doing. I must be lost or going crazy. ... long story that I am not in the mood to get into. Let's move on to something else, not even sure why I brought that up.

A hug to my Stefan. ... and a thank you.




Moving on:

I should thank a lot of others, but I am getting so sleepy. I will send out a "Thank you" for all the 20-something comments on that last post. I know you care and want what is best for my heart. Hugs.

In this Life there are many wrong turns. When someone takes your hand and pulls you from the dark,... your dreams can be found once again. When someone wipes away the tears and truly listens and cares. We should always be grateful for people that stood beside us during all we have done, lost or accomplished. Everyone has someone like that, yes? ... someone who, even if you have ever hurt them, held your hand all along the way. That should never be forsaken. That is a heart full of sweetness and not anger. My favorite sort of heart. Stefan's heart.

Hmm,... what else?

I guess that is it for now. I am tired, sore, and feeling a bit blue. Do not get me wrong, I have smiled tremendously lately,... just need to wake up a bit more. I think I will listen to my play list and greet the day. A big storm has just started and my entire flat smells like rain. :) I may get my camera and go out into it--it is so foggy, rainy and full of thunder. I bet the water would be a great place for some nice photographs right now, especially with the fog. Hmmm,... yes, I am going to do that right now! :)

Have a good Saturday, my friends.



Big hugs,
Me