random thoughts

I have had pretty close relationships with most of my patients - even had this patient that upsetted easily. when she did this, her family would call my cell and ask me to talk to her. I calmed her down and loved her v much. I now how a patient similar to her; she is in rehab because she fell and is now afraid/or needs assistance to walk. when she needs to get up to walk, they call me from my regular floor - she simply will not let anyone else help her, says that I am the only one who cares.

and I do care, v much, as I am sure others do. I just get so busy (esp during vitals) that I cannot get that extra minute to leave my floor. this made her cry the other day. sometimes I have to become hardened, try not to think of such things, and carry on with what I am in the middle of. when I finally got that extra minute, I found out that she fell again, and found myself in tears. I should of spent more time reassuring her that if she asked another to help - that person would take care of her the way I do. but if I had done so, she would question me, because she in fact did fall.

I need to organize my time better or perhaps be even harder that I try to be. I am tough enough or I thought I was, until today... now I do not know. today is another story that I do not care to share right now. xo