Sunday, April 13, 2008

The City Was Warm


The city was warm as I watched the trees pass outside the window from the backseat. We were almost there and I was mentally exhausted. The sign said "Pine Lawn" as we were now in Long Island. I felt sick. I stepped out of the car and I saw the look on her son's face; what sadness,... he looked lost as if he were left all alone in this world.

I leaned against the car in the warm sun. A feeling of emptiness set in and a tear fell.The breeze seemed to blow my hair wildly as I stared into the thick air. We followed the back of the hearse. I could see her son's hand prints upon the back window as if he were begging her not to leave him. I then watched them carry the body to the grave site.

I lead the way with flowers in my hand. There she was all wrapped up in a pretty box. I took a seat as I watched her son put his hand upon the casket and cry. He seemed to be caressing her through the wood. The look in his eyes brought me to tears.

I walked away. It felt like miles, (although it couldn't of been) until I found a bench far from the madness. I sat down, put my head in my hands and cried.

After what seemed like hours, I could here someone saying in a soft voice, "Come Cherilyn let's go." I felt a touch upon my shoulder. I guess it was over. I walked back to the car, blew a kiss into the wind, and said, "Ciao La Bella". I saw a flower that must of fallen. I picked it up. (It was from her arrangement.) I caressed my cheek with it, took a deep breathe of it in, and handed it to her son. I said, "I think you should keep this."

He held it up to his face, then close to his heart, as he took one last look over the green grass to where his mother lay resting. Tears danced upon his cheek. I felt my heart break.

I loved her like my own mother. I felt better thinking she was in a better place, and my tears were drying. I stared out the window as we left the memorial park, emotionless. And, from within the quiet air, I heard, "My mom was right about you Cherilyn..."

The tears began again. I heard music being turned on. ..I remember thinking, "Where will I get those comforting hugs?" And somewhere from within the car I could hear a radio being played soft and low,..."If I could, I would go wherever you will go..."

"What a day!", I thought as we headed to Brooklyn to eat.


(Dedicated to Marilyn, who passed away on this day a few yrs ago.) :)

(Something I wrote about a patient of mine after her funeral. The family put a poem I had written to her, beside her in her casket. I guess my words will always be with her.

I remember going to the hospital on my day off to give her a pedicure. (She had never had one before.) Ugh, I dislike feet, but so wanted her to always smile. :) We laughed so much that day.

She was so beautiful. She always called me her angel, but she was indeed, the true angel. :))

I have only shared this with Victor. But I felt the need to post it today. Sorry for any typos. :)

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