Monday, December 31, 2007

A new year is (and has) arriving/arrived!

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... and already I have heard such sweet sounds of well wishes from the most beautiful people in Spain. A sweet hug to each and every one of them!

You know, I see immense happiness and love in 2008. My heart, it smiles SO much! My soul, is moved to over joy. To feel so much in such simplicity, is to live life to its fullest. And that is exactly what I intend to do. :)

I am blessed.

Well, I must go, but I wanted to first, wish you all such love and laughter in the new year. Be safe, share your hearts, and smile as the sun warms your face!

God Bless all of you. :)

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Snowblind

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Snowblind

Fastened with warm hands and a smile,
the miles, the seconds, and the firsts,
of course; letters, laughter, and faint
whispers, spoken with blush.

It is the moment after the voice, where
no one has been left standing, where one
more minute could shatter.

At the quiet points, I am asleep.
The winter wind may pierce the pane,
but I cannot feel it--I remain safe
in loving hands.

And when I have entered dawn, holding
no more than these lines, the splendor
of it all completes me--it lingers softly,
like the scent of rain, long after it has
have gone.

You Light Up My Life

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(The image is, Jack-Vettriano-"Dance Me to the End of Love")


So many nights I sit by my window
Waiting for someone to sing me his song
So many dreams I kept deep inside me
Alone in the dark but now
You've come along

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water
Could it be finally I'm turning for home?
Finally, a chance to say hey,
I love You
Never again to be all alone

It can't be wrong
When it feels so right
'Cause You
You light up my life

*I wanted to share this, because my mum would play this song when I was growing up. She would look over at me as she was singing, and I would smile. :)

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Yes...

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Today I celebrate no sugar (still). And it is SO hard to believe, because I love chocolate. I have come to the realization, I will never have it again. And not because I cannot, but because I will not. And you know, my sugar levels today, were perfect. :)

Victor had a lot to do with that, because he reminds me of what is good and not so good. Jenn does the same thing, even to reorder my order at the cafe! (Haha!) I will order a cappuccino with caramel, and she will say, "Please give me the same, but can you make both w/o the caramel?" Now, well, I just do not order caramel. And it is not only sugar that I leave behind, but so many carbs, as well. It feels so nice to take control of your life. To do what is healthy, so you can live a long and happy life with the ones you love.

You know, I truly am blessed. :)

Family Moments II

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Family moments II

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My family is beautiful to me. And even when they make silly faces into my camera or look away, I love them. :) This is only 10% of them, but I need to go through CDs. I NEED to find my little brother, Anthony's image. :)

Family Moments

My little brother, Jason. :)

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Never let you fall

I trust you all had a wonderful Christmas? :)

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I did. In fact, the closing of the year is the best one that I have ever had. For a while now, and for the first time in my life, I feel SO much peace in my heart. And it is not only peace, but pure trust and understanding. The trust in knowing, love can conquer all. The understanding that, friends do not always walk away.

In fact, it can grow into an even stronger bond during times that seem complicated or sorrowful. You know, I never knew this; I have had people walk in and out of my life. But now, right now in this moment, I know I am not losing one thing I hold dear. I am smiling as I type, because I am not. I am never going to lose this light in my heart. Why not? Well, the purpose and source of this light is much stronger than sadness, complication, even darkness.

This light is Life's gift, it is my best friend Stefan, and I can feel its warmth through-out my entire being. Now my tears fall, but for no other reason that this inner happiness.

What a way to end a year and begin a new one. I am grateful.

May your new year fill your heart with the same light, warmth, and the feeling of being moved more than ever. And the light you bring to me is, but a wonderful gift!

xo Cher

Monday, December 24, 2007

Random thoughts,...

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(an image of someone dear to me.)

... there is something about a man's neck--it is just so soft, simple and sweet. It is the simple things in life that we overlook most. Me? No! I truly notice them. Trust me, the simple sounds of feet, or laughter, really hug my heart.

(Well, it must be from someone special, mostly.) But with laughter, I almost enjoy it coming from any direction. :) I love it! Such sounds of happiness are true gifts.

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May one of your new year resolutions be, to take notice in what is around you. To adore the simple things, and as well, be grateful for them. Even nature--can we try to be more respectful and thankful? It is a free gift, and it needs to be cherished, not for it being free, but for the beauty it brings. Let's give back next year. Let's show appreciation for the little things.

One thing I never understood was, why is something so valuable, more cherished, than something free? Love is free. Nature is free. A smile is free. Should they not be more valuable? It is not how much something costs that makes it better, it is how it is given, and how you receive it. I would rather have a smile so precious or true love, than money any day. And that comes directly from my heart. Because anyone can build an empire, but an empire built with love can only grow warmer. And from there, your riches can be seen. xo

Christmas Eve

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Well, it is already Christmas Eve. I hope everyone is enjoying the festivities and the anticipation of tomorrow. :) Such a beautiful day it will be, and so many reasons to smile and give thanks. I am, indeed thankful. I truly have been blessed. Merry Christmas to you all. :)

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Saturday, December 22, 2007

My best friend and other thoughts

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Something Dawn made for me. The image is of me as a little girl, along with a prayer. She is a true angel, like Victor. I am always so amazed at the beauty of her soul. She brings so many smiles to my heart. I love her,.. she is my sister, and she is one of my very best friends. Thank you, dawn for being you.

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And a special Happy Birthday to See-Saw! A special Happy Birthday to Victor (A few weeks ago). A special Happy Birthday to Martin (A few days ago). A special Happy Birthday to Joann (A few days ago). :) :) :)

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And,...

... a very Merry Christmas to you all!! Hugs! :)

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Heart to heart to heart to <3...

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My heart feels so much peace tonight: it feels warm, loved, thought of, loving, giving, hopeful, happy, smiling, caring, and most of all, deep inside, it feels complete.

Funny, I am smiling so much right now. No matter the reason, it feels pure. I am in the middle of a move, have no Christmas tree up, am up to my ears in last minute details, but up to my knees in cloudless blue. :)

I just feel happy inside for all that I am, all I have, and all I have accomplished.

This year is coming to a close and next year is brighter than ever. I am blessed. I am so thankful. I may not have riches or fame, but I have the simple things in life that make the heart shine. I have everything I will ever need. I have a smile. And school will be over soon,...I will reaching a personal goal of mine.

May your wishes come true, and your Christmas be full of so many wonderful things. May your new year be blessed. And remember, it is not the material things that matter--there is nothing more precious or priceless as a true heart. Give yourself in each moment,...share your heart and always bring a smile to someone when you can. It is one of the most rewarding feelings, and it is free.

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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Venga con me [Insaziabile]

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Armoniosi accenti
dal tuo labbro volavano, e dagli occhi ridenti
trasluceano di Venere i disdegni e le paci
la speme, il pianto e i baci.

-Ugo Foscolo

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiXWoWtLex4

A Spiral at Such Dizzy heights

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Must be winter that pulls these goosebumps to the surface, like a first kiss, but not quite as warm. Yesterday, I almost decided to go away for a bit. I want nothing, but to protect myself from all that has ever happened and to try to make sure it never happens again. But no one can stop things that happen all the time (if any of the time). I feel the need to replace so much that has happened with a smile--a smile that outshines and insecurity or fear. A smoothing of sorts. Something to ease my weary mind. Where my bones are not milk less cavities without calcium to render.

You know, they say med school is so complicated, but if only my life were as easy. Gosh, I was so happy in the early hours of November. Where did I go wrong? Perhaps I should make my blog private. I often wonder if I seem a bit too sad or too happy at times. But this is a place for my inner thoughts,...who would I be if I were to candy-coat them all the time? I am not a sad person. I am just honest.

But sometimes the dark will not consider the light. It pulls you to where nothing can be tasted, and love is a heartbeat that sounds from somewhere in the distance. You reach and reach, but it seems to be moving at the same pace as you, and no matter how fast you go, stumbling past the unseen, it never can be touched. Almost as if it wants to stop, so you can catch up, but is much too frightened. Then you make it into the light, only to see you were already there, but the strings you held, the heart strings, are now on your back and play you like some sort of puppet, or a character from an old time movie scene, where substance and security are just language beneath the sheets, where solitude is not intention, where everything is black and white. Where someone's aim is steady and they gather me in the palm, hug my restless heart.

And color? Color is an interpretation of all you desire and deserve, but you must constantly keep the light on.

I feel as if I have fallen into the ice. From the ice, I look up and scenes replay over and over, but I feel as if I have no control as to get out and get back into them. I think it is a feeling of losing what I held so tightly. And in this world, life seems so far away and severely cold.

The Sands, the sea itself cannot contain me


While I stood in the stillness, slept
deep in the bones of men,
I must have looked like a fool.

Against the crag, beyond our fears,
the smallness of my nape tightens--its air,
exhausted over the course of winter.

I look across the sands of salt and fervor,
weep for what I may have lost--gentle
as the hands I imagined
along my spine.

It is here, beside the low wooden fence
that whispers the road home, here where
I will surrender, weightless
as the dying moth.

And if I stand in ill repute, my
heart beating against the black clouds of
this storm--

may you come find me.

Monday, December 17, 2007

today was today was today was that day

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Today I aced my exam--not one mark. I have no idea how, because I have been going through so much as of late, (but it is all good). My professor wrote me a letter of recommendation today, as well. So, I now have 4 and can use them for seeking a job as a Physician's Assistant when finished with school. Also, I have 3 from previous professors, so I could take the classes I take now. You see, there are only so many openings, and I was "lucky" enough to have slipped into one.

My averages are very high. I think they are because I am so interested in what is next. Also, I stay up late to study, while still having time for my hobbies and such. I study so much, I am learning to live on of cappuccino alone. ;)

In other news, I am taking time off from some people: Happy Birthday to a good friend, I am still off sugar, I cut my hair to the middle of my back, I miss my friend who passed, I miss my sister, I received a funny letter (that I did not reply to yet) it said to get my rear back to this certain website. (He knows how I am and that I will when ready.:))

Oh, Michael (my cat) caught a tiny mouse this morning. I grabbed a paper bag to collect it in, but was too scared to do so. I then, grabbed a plastic bag. (What was I thinking?) Finally I reached for a towel and tossed it on them both and ran! ;)

Again, I am sorry for being so late in replying to everything. Dawn is so very beautiful for her many messages of love (I see my in box filling with LiveDigital messages), and a good friend and his wife just had their baby! Congrats and warm wishes to them! Hmmm... what else? Oh, I feel bad in my heart today.

Have a wonderful Monday. ((HUGS))

Sunday, December 16, 2007

SLR

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You know, sometimes I just have to smile when I see older images of mine. The first thing I think to do, is to edit. But one thing that I always forget, is that no matter what, there are never any dust spots. Haha!

My SLR on the other hand, likes to add them at times to my photos. Funny, I spent 30 minutes the other day removing dust spots from an image, only to find out it was dust on my monitor, not the photograph! (I wondered why the clone tool from PSCS was acting silly!) ;) I love both my cameras, though.

I was looking through some older images I had uploaded to photobucket. These are images I actually was proud of at one time, and I even posted them in public! Haha!

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(One of my old bedroom windows)


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(That one is from my SLR)

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That is an example of what I thought was wonderful! Funny, I have an urge to take it, crop it, and make it into something more. I cannot, though; I uploaded it at a small resolution and am way too lazy today to find the original on CD.

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The deeper I get into my account, the images are less edited. Maybe I will find the original of this one, without searching CDs. I look mad here, but I am not. I am just looking into the camera.

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(I called that one "The Dog Days of Summer") ;)

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This image makes me laugh! The people on the boat were shooting photos of me as I did them! So, somewhere out in "internet-land", there is an image of some Italian girl "trying" to be cool with her camera! ;)

An avalance of moments

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(An image I shot last year)

So, each year I go through this transition period after autumn. I do not like winter too much anymore. Odd, I usually love this season, but being away from anyone I know, I really do not like it. I see so many Christmas decor, candies, and other things wherever I go, but my heart does not smile. And you know, this is the first year this has happened.

And I know, I am surrounded by people who love me. I get so much email, messages from sites, cards, comments, etc. It is not that I feel "alone" alone; it is hard to explain, because if I knew, I would certainly rid it from my system.

I think back on how I feel when autumn is arriving--I get such a warmth in my heart. I get so happy inside,...excited for all the beauty and color that I adore. I love colorful seasons. In fact, I miss spring, because I love to have a tiny flower garden. I love to cut pieces and put them in little jars on my window sill. I even taught myself plant propagation--(the exchange of genetic material between
parents to produce a new generation). I taught myself a bit about astronomy too. I want to set up my telescope, plant plants in pretty pots, sing, dance, and be free. (I do dance, and quite a lot! Poor neighbors!) ;)

I must say, when you read blog thoughts, they might seem sad, but that is not always the case. Sometimes they are just deep "heart-lights" that need to shine. They do not always have to be laughing or full of sunshine. They just have to be true. They have to be who you are. In my blog, I post from my heart. And no matter what it has to say, it speaks in volumes. (I hope!) :)

School will be over soon and I will be what I started off to be. I will have reached that goal in life. My other goals are much simpler, I think. I just want warmth and happiness. I am not saying I do not have that now, because I really am blessed to be loved as much as I am. It is just that, sometimes I feel like first snow when it falls; everything is still and quiet, and you can hear the echo of a heart from miles away.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Scenes II

A winter scene I shot. I have it in b&w, and of course, prefer that, but wanted to post it in color here.

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I have so many images that I have yet to post. I will at some point. Posting on the sites I do, it sometimes gets a bit hard to keep up. And 38,387 downloads of my images since August at Webshots--I have no time to even go there to thank them.

http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2007400620102193355kOOiPm

I have so many unread messages in my Hotmail from those members, as well. And I really do appreciate them. I just need to make some time to show it. I hope to do that soon.



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Scenes

Some scenes of mine:

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(My car on a rainy day by the Golden Gate)

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