Relationships, with each one, you lose a part of yourself, and when I say relationships, I mean any sort from a relationship with your parents, to your friends, peers or your partner. Some take your trust, some faith, dreams, confidence or romanticism, and some take your heart, push and pull until it is molded into something that never seems quite the same.
All along, you never even realize it has happened; one day standing in front of the mirror you notice a change, a change from that young adult that had some much to believe in. I guess it is hard to notice such things when life keeps moving and one must constantly keep their head above water. But when you are finally in front of that mirror, you do not recognize yourself, because you are a completely different person.
*Note, it is not that we have allowed another to change us, it just moved that way--no matter the circumstances. And it is not that easy to get yourself back, one must be in the mix of things to truly relate.
So there you are in front of the mirror. You look deep into yourself trying to figure out how this all happened. Well, in case you were too busy to hold it all down, you had learned that trust is not always a good thing, romance can be void, confidence can deteriorate after awhile, and faith...well, faith is just something to grasp when you are left to dangle in the dark.
We all get tired, and trying to find who you once were is not as easy as it sounds; you have to start from scratch and let go of all you ever knew. You need to remember the reasons that you loved romance, know that confidence comes with loving yourself, even when you are told there is nothing to love, recall why trust is as important as love, and most of all, forget faith in anything else for the moment, but yourself. As long as it is inside you, you have no reason to search.
Not sure any of this makes sense, I am exhausted, ill with a cold and had been thinking about this while on a walk this evening. One thing I can definitely say, with most relationships, you give a part of yourself and you get a part in return, changing each other for the better... it is utterly beautiful.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Babbled by Cher Ferroggiaro at 8:53 PM