Sunday, December 16, 2007

An avalance of moments

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(An image I shot last year)

So, each year I go through this transition period after autumn. I do not like winter too much anymore. Odd, I usually love this season, but being away from anyone I know, I really do not like it. I see so many Christmas decor, candies, and other things wherever I go, but my heart does not smile. And you know, this is the first year this has happened.

And I know, I am surrounded by people who love me. I get so much email, messages from sites, cards, comments, etc. It is not that I feel "alone" alone; it is hard to explain, because if I knew, I would certainly rid it from my system.

I think back on how I feel when autumn is arriving--I get such a warmth in my heart. I get so happy inside,...excited for all the beauty and color that I adore. I love colorful seasons. In fact, I miss spring, because I love to have a tiny flower garden. I love to cut pieces and put them in little jars on my window sill. I even taught myself plant propagation--(the exchange of genetic material between
parents to produce a new generation). I taught myself a bit about astronomy too. I want to set up my telescope, plant plants in pretty pots, sing, dance, and be free. (I do dance, and quite a lot! Poor neighbors!) ;)

I must say, when you read blog thoughts, they might seem sad, but that is not always the case. Sometimes they are just deep "heart-lights" that need to shine. They do not always have to be laughing or full of sunshine. They just have to be true. They have to be who you are. In my blog, I post from my heart. And no matter what it has to say, it speaks in volumes. (I hope!) :)

School will be over soon and I will be what I started off to be. I will have reached that goal in life. My other goals are much simpler, I think. I just want warmth and happiness. I am not saying I do not have that now, because I really am blessed to be loved as much as I am. It is just that, sometimes I feel like first snow when it falls; everything is still and quiet, and you can hear the echo of a heart from miles away.

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